Bully (Not Teddy Roosevelt Bully)

I was listening to CBC 1 today.  They  were doing a show on bullying,  They had some experts talking about how to deal with it but the really interesting part was the call ins.  Listeners talking about being bullied and being bullies.  The people who admitted to being bullies were ashamed of the way they acted when they were in school,  The consensus seemed to be once you start you can't stop.

So, an admission.  I was a bully in high school.  Nothing physical it was verbal.  I only did it once.  I knew it was wrong when I was doing it.  I felt like hell on the way home and decades later I still feel ashamed.  Sure, I got bullied but that's long forgotten.  That one episode where I was the bully is something I can't shake.

In my early 20's while bouncing from club to club I saw bullying.  I wrote it off to male testosterone run amok.  What surprised me and something I wasn't ready for was bullying in the work place.  That was something I wasn't expecting.  We're all grown up now, we're adults and we will work side by side with respect for each other.  Oh, silly, silly, silly me. 

I saw several instances of bosses as bullies.  Kind of like the coach you had when you were a kid who thought they could bully you into playing better.  Some of these people were newly promoted and should never have been bumped up the ladder, They knew their job, they knew their business but they had no concept how to be a manager.  No people skills.  I think that happens too often at work.  People get bumbed up because they're good at what they do.  Being good at what you do doesn't necessarily make you good at telling other people what to do. 

In broadcasting bullying makes for a terrible dynamic.  Mic off.  The bully in studio starts ranting and raving and berating a co-worker. When the mic goes back on 60 seconds later you keep going but it's a different room, a different conversation and a different show.

I never thought women were bullies.  Not until I saw it in the work place.  Maybe I was naive in high school and maybe it was going on. I just didn't see it. I've seen women bosses bully their staff.  Female staff  bully other staff members, male and female. 

I don't get it (there's my naivety again).  I don't see what it accomplishes.  They have to know the people they bully wont like or respect them.  Same deal for the people watching it going on. I saw a manager bully a staff member once.  At the time I thought he was dick. My feelings about him haven't changed and I doubt they ever will.

What bullies don't realize and probably never will is that the people around them don't like them, don't trust them and don't respect them.  Fear them?  Yes.  But that makes for a toxic work environment. 

I can't even remember the kids' name I bullied in high school.  I wish I could.  An apology for me being a dick is long over due.