Ever since I joined face book I've been asked by some of my new "friends" to join things. Clubs...causes...organizations...fan clubs. The last thing I joined before facebook was an exclusive fitness club in Barrie. It had all the bells and whistles. Just what you need to get into shape and make contacts. I went once, never went back.
When I lived in Mississauga I joined the condo committe of the townhouse community I lived in. First meeting had to do with replacing all the fire places. Okay, sounded easy enough. And then alpha dogs emerged. One wanted his cousin, a contractor, to do all the work. Another wanted his brother in law, a lawyer, to make sure everything was legal and up to spec. Someone wanted their accountant father in law to keep books on it. Everybody had an agenda and no one trusted anyone else in the room. It was ridiculous. One meeting, I never went back.
There was a time when I saw myself as an alpha dog. I could take charge, I could lead. Leave it with me because I know best. Well I didn't. Being, or trying to be, an aplha dog eventually made me feel like a bully. These days I try to be a reactor. Listen, think it over and if it works for me I'll bite. I'll toss in ideas but I wont try to force them down anyone's throat.
I've always loved meetings where you're asked to come up with any ideas, no matter how goofey they may seem, and toss them out for discussion. It's not done enough. What may seem ridiculous to you could be the answer to the problem. But with more serious meetings I think one on one is better. Add a third person, you get politics. It always seem to end up 2 against one.
I once worked with someone who was never wrong. If their ideas were rejected in a meeting they would go balistic. They could not possibly be wrong. 3 managers put up with it. The fourth didn't and Mr. I'm never wrong...was removed from his position.
I had another situation where we had daily meetings. I dreaded them. In 3 out of 5 there would be arugments. The other 2 turned in free-for-all screaming matches. Most it had to do with a manager criticzing an employee in front of everyone else. It was flee or fight. 'Course when you have a room full of egos it's always a fight. It made question period look like nap time at a day care center.
This is something I don't understand about Maple Leaf coach Ron Wilson. He will publicly embarass his players. Throws them under the bus. If you have a problem with a player deal with it in the dressing room. Better yet, one on one in your office. I don't mind being wrong. I don't mind getting hell. I do mind being embarassed in public.
I understand the upside of joining things. Socalizing, meeting new people and networking. Not joining things has probably, no deffinately, hurt me professionally. You never know when a contact might be able to help you out, or you may be able to help them. My loss. But I really do believe in what Groucho Marx said. I have it down as my favourite quote on facebook, "I don't care to belong to any club that would have people like me as members."
Which makes me wonder why I joined facebook. I'll have to call a meeting to get that figured out.
And you have just listed some of the reasons why I work alone.
And the others......?
Years ago my daughters house league basketball teams (we are talking 10-11 year olds) coach was tranferred out of town at the start of the season. Nobody wanted coach, and after it was decided the girls would simply not play that year, I volunteered to coach, but made it perfectly clear I had never done this and knew little about basketball. No problem everyone said, just "have fun". So, I made an attempt to learn a bit about some coachong drills, talked to over coaches in the league, and off I went.
What a disaster. After the first game, parents actully called me at home complaining about plays, their kids playing time, you name it.
Lasted the season for the kids, and that was it...
I feel for you Jim, did the same for my son's Kinsmen baseball league, all kids hit every inning, nice way to introduce 5-8 year olds to baseball. Too bad the parents wouldn't stay at home, we had parents telling kids to slide (when the 3rd base coach told them to hold up), to take chances on bases that other kids were standing on and not going to budge on, causing over runs then other parents to start muttering that the coach can't get control of the team.
I laugh when I hear managers say we have to start working as a team, I think they already are, as the dysfunctional units I seem to see most teams working at.
Jim and Rick: I hear you. I refereed basketball for year. Big mistake. I was handing out technicals to teams for the crap their parents were pulling. Thought I was going to get killed. My kid was playing basketball when he was young. I was going to ask the coach if he needed any help. During the first quarter the coach was laying on the floor and pounding his fist on the court because 8 year old kids couldn't figure out how to stay in position on a
2-1-2 zone defence. I figured he didn't need "my" help but he did need help.