Damn Spam

I've just spent the past 20 minutes deleting spam from my blog.  I'm sure there's an easier way to do it.  But I don't know how.  

It's like telemarketing.  I don't want what you're selling and if you bother me I'll made a point never to purchase anything with your name attatched to it.  I don't understand spam.  Not sure what the point is.  We all hate it and the senders must know this. You've already made me pissed at you.  Why would even consider checking out what ever it is you're pushing. 

'Course the funny thing is some of them try to masqurade it.  "Just read you're blog.  Great stuff, will tell all my friends".  The sender turns out to be "The Porn Factory".   I get spam from people selling Wal-Mart gift cards, all sorts of video games, I just deleted one call "The Seattle Party Bus" with the message "hello from Iceland".  Now, I was never a an honour student but I know that there is no Seattle in Iceland.  If it had been the "Viking Party Bus" signed by Dick from Reykjavik I might have bought it. 

Actually, the VIkings are responsible for spam.  It's from the old Monty Python bit.  A couple comes in to a restaurant to order a meal and every meal comes with Spam.  The Vikings sitting in the back start singing "Spam..Spam..Spam...Spam" and drown everything out.  Like internet spam does to sites.

Selling pharmaceuticals with spam just does't work for me.  I'm not buying anything that's supposed to cure that weird discharge that's been plauging me over the internet.  And I've been getting spam by law firms.  Now if there are lawyers out there who think the best way to get their message across is with cross boarder spamming I don't think I want them handling my next divorce. 

Comic books, cars, action figures.  They all seemed enamoured with my writing although none of them seem to know exactly what I'm writing about.  I could have met a nice young lady via spam who wanted me to check her out on her webcam.  I've been offered glimpses or boobs, holistic medicine, things in Spanish, French, Russian, Turkish and one or 2 languages with characters I've never seen before.  Those ones made me pause for a moment thinking maybe I can be the first to make contact with an alien world!  But they'd probably try to sell me Orknik surgery. Something I've thought about but not over the internet.

The spam for penile enhancement is deleted right away.  Don't  want any of the readers to think that I might be lacking in certain areas.  That's personal.  Once the rumours start they're hard to stop.  Believe me, I know. (guess I should have deleted that last piece).

My mother used to put Spam (the canned "is it really meat?" suff) in my lunch.  Not being a Monty Pythonesque Viking, I hated it.  Swore I'd never have anything to do with it once I started making my own lunches.  Now, years later there's a brand new spam I've learned to hate.   I may not understand the point of spam but one thing I do know, this anti spam rant is going to ge spammed.