If The Shoe Fits: That's The Problem, It Doesn't.

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I was watching Prime Time Sports a few days back and Bob Mc Cown brought up something I've been thinking about for a long time.  What's the deal with shoes?  Did his feet grow or did the shoes shrink?

When I was 25 I took a size 10.  9 1/2 if I didn't wear socks.  I don't wear socks from April Fools Day until Halloween.  It has led to the break up of the odd relationship but now I make sure I use a spray powder to dis-odor any offending odor.  Anyway, By the time I turned 30 I was up to 10 1/2 and 10.  Single digits are history even when I depose the hose.  These days I have no idea when I go in to a shoe store what I'll leave with. 

I'm a bit of a shoe horse.  Not on an Amelda Marcos scale. I have no sense of fashioun but I do like to be mod when I'm shod.  If I find an pair of pumps that are a little different I'll buy them.  About every 3 months I duck into Winners.  Every once in a while they have something out of the ordinary.  No idea where they find their footware but all of a sudden the dimension of my dogs is up 11.  In some cases a 12.

It's not just shoes.  It's shirts too.  I used to buy extra large to get that roomy feeling.  Then one day the XL went all to hell.  Felt like I was wearing a tent dress.  While my feet were expanding my upper body was contracting.  What the hell was going on?  I thought I might be slipping in and out of some parallel high fashion universe.

I consulted my fashion friendly friends.  They told me not to worry.  It wasn't me.  It was those varmints who make the garments.  If you're an XL but all of a sudden an X fits perfectly it makes you feel better about the worth of your girth and you'll buy more.

Which is fine but that doesn't explain my growing shoe size. Although,  the story goes that the larger the man's shoe the larger the man's manhood.  One day in winers I found a pair of "must have" shoes.  I swear the only ones that fit were size 13. 13!  That was new territory for me. I was boldly going where no one from the Hodge clang had gone before.  When I was checking out the cashier picked them up, took a  look at the price the price, then the size.  She stared at me, smiled and then blushed.  Next time in  I'm buying 14's weather they fit or not.

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2 Comments

Don't worry Rick... I got it and have noticed the very same issues. lol

It is the wonders of marketing and affects us all. This year I bought a new set of golf clubs, ditching the last set I had for about 10 years. That is 10 years of me getting older, and with these new clubs, where I used to hit an 5 iron, I now hit a 6 or even 7 for the same distance. Very weird. Oh ya, HIGHLY reccommend the belly putter for anyone with a history pf back pain or discomfort.

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This page contains a single entry by Rick published on July 3, 2010 5:54 PM.

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